PECULIAR.

LOVE YOU GUYS!

2008-11-14T05:02:00.001-08:00

NOTHINGS GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU, YOU OUGHT TO KNOW BY NOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU! (:

lawl.

i just wanted to say how much i love you guys and how much you mean to me. you've been such a blessing in my life, sharing times of joy and sorrow with me. even though we're moving on, i know we'll always be friends and sisters. lets all look ahead excited about what God is going to do.

love, ann.

CONSTANCE'S CHEERLEADING CLUB

2008-11-03T07:44:00.000-08:00

This is dedicated to CONSTANCE KHENG WY.

ALL THE BESTEST FOR YOUR A LEVELS!

God's GRACE and FAVOUR will surround, overflow, envelope, overwhelm you manymanymany from now until the 20th November.

You will make it through in ONE PIECE.

(Please direct all your fanmail to the comments page. Thank you.)

Random Thought.

2008-08-31T10:41:00.000-07:00

A random thought just dropped into my mind as I was thinking about tomorrow.

As I was thinking about tomorrow morning, how I had to go to school(yes, you have a week's break), to take the MRT, and to squeeze with the peak hour commuters. I was just thinking how nice it would be if I could have a seat tomorrow, so that I wouldn't have to keep balancing in such a way that when the train suddenly stops, you won't fall on the person next to you.

Anyways, a thought came to me that we should be thankful for all the little things in our lives; that we should count every blessing that God has blessed us with. Like all the MRT seats I have gotten on the North-South line in the mornings(its impossible to get one on the green line), it's these little blessings and good things that God gives us that really shows us that He is interested in our lives and wants so much to be a part of it.

Think of everything we have that so many out there do not have. Then think about how we can give away what we have that others don't: the Love of God. It is a great privilege to be able to know God, a privilege that so many do not have. So in the same way that God has blessed us in the big things and small, let's also give away our blessings in the big things and small.

(Back to my sociology essay. =()

Person on my right.

2008-08-12T16:53:00.000-07:00

This blog is dusty. *sees dust bunnies flying around*

Anyway, I thought I might just share something I felt last Sunday when Pst Daniel asked us to take the hand of your partners on the left and right.

So the person on my right was Wenyuan. When I began to pray for her, I felt such a stirring in the Spirit and I suddenly felt the love of God pour through. I just sensed such a tremendous delight and pleasure that the Father had for her, that the Lord has such a heart for her and for Chung Cheng High. I just that God's mighty hand upon Wenyuan's life, that He would raise her up to become such a woman of God and that she would be used greatly by Him if she would avail her life to Him.

Just wanted to encourage all of us, that the battle over Chung Cheng High is not yet lost. Are we still being vigilant over the school and praying that CCH might be won to the kingdom of God?

2008-07-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

hey guys.

this is just something God spoke to me today during the altar call.

so when pastor daniel gave the altar call for people to respond, cons and gerry asked yiping and yuliang whether they would like to respond and they said no. so instead we all stood there worshiping. during worship i just kept feeling a prompting to ask yiping and yiliang if they would like to go down again, so i asked them and they said yes so i brought them down.

but the altar area was crowded so i ended up standing on the second tier after bringing them down. looking at them standing at the altar, i suddenly felt God say:

"they are precious to me. take good care of them."

seriously, i teared.

God sees something so special in them and He has entrusted them to us. we must do our part in loving them and caring for them too. i believe this is also for every newbeliever we have in the cell, to really retain them and show them God love through our relationship with them.

amen?

a mandate, the real deal.

2008-06-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

hi 45!

last night, i was just lying in bed, full of excitement and plans in mind for cch, and what God is gonna do in the school especially this week. i was thinking and dreaming about how many ppl can be saved when we just share the gospel.

theres this passion in me that God has recently evoked and stirred up in me, its a passion that drives. and im amazed, so really, if the passion and burden is still not in you, i plead with you, ask God to birth it in you, that it becomes part of you, a source for living, reason for sacrifice.

so in bed, i couldnt get to sleep until rolling around for like 50 minutes. in all honesty, when i was thinking about the great things that are gonna happen, sth in the spirit realm occured, i felt elevated in the spirit, like a sense of peace, a sense of protection came over. closing my eyes, i felt like i was in a totally different realm.

i soon fell asleep and i encountered a spiritual attack. in the attack i was being oppressed so badly, i got scared. but i knew in my spirit, this attack was cos an indication of NEW LEVELS, NEW DEVILS. despite the natural fear that i experienced, somehow there was this victorious spirit in me. i began praying in tongues commanding the spirit to leave and after awhile, it faded.

i also saw myself in the spirit actually doing the action of trampling on the devil (you know like stomping on the ground stepping on cockroaches) where i did spiritual warfare in conquering the forces of darkness. and soon, it all faded away.

later, i heard cries. ive heard such cries before in spiritual attacks and i reckon it was screams from hell. but this time, in my spirit i discerned that it was CCH students. their voices were like teenagers. and they kept screaming in such turmoil. and then they cried out , PLEASE SHARE JESUS WITH US!!

at that point in time, i thought to myself. "isnt it too late u all are already in hell"
but i came to realise that they were screaming out as if the only source of hope was me, it was us. their only escape torment was the Lord Jesus Christ.
please understand, the spiritual encounter wasnt just meant for me, i believe i was a representation for the cell and the call is to every single one who wants to pursue it. here the opportunity is given, the decision lies i ur hands, really.

i have come to the understanding of the real deal, the immense role we play in this school, this generation, really as the unlikely heroes. let me say this, we are on the winning end. no doubt about it:)

blessings,
CONS

( MAYBE COS U ALL KEEP CALLING ME GANGSTER, I HAD TO FIGHT THESE DEMONS. HAHA) but at least we won :)

the vision in full force.

2008-06-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

YOZZIEmozzieLEMONsqueezie 45!

its been an amazing week hasnt it? with 3 salvations and the work God has done in the cell? i honestly stand amazed, in awe of how much God can work through us.

here, we officially welcome YIPING, YILIANG and JENNIFER into the family of the Kingdom of God! :) *everyone screams*

let me just say some things.

4point5 is amazing,
not cos of who we are,
but what God has done through us,
and the friendships forged.

4point5 should be sold out to Christ,
if we want to see things happen,
especially in outreach.

4point5 has a mandate,
it is to touch lives around us,
and bring revival to chung cheng high.

4 point 5 contains people,
from all walks of life,
just like a family,
we love those God has placed in our hands.

4point5 is loud,
cos we have a complain,
because we have sth to rebel against the Devil,
and theres a voice in us that cannot be silenced.

4point5 will do the work,
that God has called us to,
and we'll look back,
each with a testimony.

4point5 is not a one-man-show thing,
the HEAD is GOD,
and HANDS and FEET of many serve.

4point5, is driven with a vision.
a vision to see lives around us touched through the love of GOD,
and to bring Reformation and Revival to Chung Cheng high.

4point5 DREAMS BIG,
cos we know we have a BIG GOD,
who birthed forth a vision in us.

4point5 is victorious,
with the only reason we need,
with God, the devil is under our feet.

have a great week in school guys. remember

1 LOVE GOD
2 ACCOUNTABLITY
3 REGULARITY IN ATTENDANCE.

and we are bound to grow in our own spiritual walk.

ending,

i have a big dream and i invite all of you to come alongside, that we may reap and sow together.

*SINGS HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL, we're all in this together* haha

BTW: im going down to cch these few days cos i dont have sch to just interact with some students and i believe there are gonna be salvations even as i share the gospel with friends of wenyuan and jennifer. lets keep this in prayer amen?

LOVE CONS :)

B.U.S.Y?

2008-06-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

SATAN'S MEETING:

(Read even if you're busy)

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons.

In his opening address he said,

'We can't keep Christians from going to church.'

'We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth.'

'We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their saviour.'

'Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.'

'So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ..'

'This is what I want you to do,' said the devil:

'Distract them from gaining hold of their Saviour and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!'

'How shall we do this?' his demons shouted.

'Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds,' he answered.

'Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow.'

'Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles.'

'Keep them from spending time with their children.'

'As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!'

'Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice.'

'Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive.' To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly.'

'This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.'

'Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers.'

'Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day.'

'Invade their driving moments with billboards.'

'Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes..'

'Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. '

'Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night.'

'Give them headaches too!

'If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere.'

'That will fragment their families quickly!'

'Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas.'

'Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about his resurrection and power over sin and death.'

'Even in their recreation, let them be excessive.'

'Have them return from their recreation exhausted.'

'Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead.'

'Keep them busy, busy, busy!'

'And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences. '

'Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus.'

'Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause.'

'It will work!'

'It will work!'

It was quite a plan!

The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there.

Having little time for their God or their families.

Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives.
I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?

Does 'BUSY' mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?

Monday Blues?

2008-06-15T22:01:00.000-07:00

And so I hear that the wonderful thing called School Holidays are coming to an end this week. Maybe you'd like to take consolation in the fact that my 7 month one is also coming to an end by the end of this month. :))))

Just thoughts running amock in my mind. These months and weeks haven't been the easiest ones, though I choose to think that they've been the greatest.

Amidst all the power and glory we've been experiencing since before Sister Nita Johnson came, in between all that has been happening and the stirring in our hearts, the enemy will try to steal away the seed that God has been sown, that seed and vision of revival.

I don't know about your own individual lives, but I know that in mine, so many things have been happening, and I can choose to be:

1. Distracted
2. Discouraged
3. Distressed

If you recall, right before Pst Daniel did the blueprint series, there was a particular service that he preached on exposing the schemes of the enemy. I was suddenly reminded today that that was so apt in preparation of all that has been happening to us the last few weeks.

I was reminded again this morning, as I was feeling number3, that the enemy seeks to even do that after all that God has done.

After all the victories and mountain-top experiences we have been going through, it is exactly the wish and plan of the enemy to come and do the above three things especially in the coming week when we return to school.

He wants us to return to our mundane lives, go back to our routines and see us become powerless and effective christians - quite the opposite of the call God has given us in the past weeks.

Thus we have to be sure to:

1. Keep our eyes focused on the Lord Jesus, and our ears and hearts attuned to the Holy Spirit.
2. Be aware of the schemes of the enemy so that we do not fall prey to his same old schemes and devices.

And even if we do feel distressed and discouraged, let us even be encouraged in the Lord, and run towards Him instead of away.

Amen?

HUNGER.

2008-06-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

was just asking myself a few questions:

1) when was the last time i was so hungry for God, i pressed on in prayer for hours?

2) when was the last time i was so desperate for revival, i prayed throughout the night, asking God for a move of His Holy Spirit?

3) when was the last time i was so excited for what God was about to do, i went sleepless for nights?

i believe God is going to raise the water level in our cell. i believe in the past month, all we have done is just dipped maybe only a portion of our foot in the river. but i praise God for what He has done in us throughout this time, for at least we found the river! (: but i know He's calling us to something far greater than what we have settled for. its time to get serious with God. He has so much more in store for us.

God's heart for CCHS

2008-05-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

hello cell.

i asked God to reveal His heart for CCHS to me during my quiet time with Him today.

immediately i saw the lost souls in chung cheng high, and i knew that because they did not know God, they would be going to hell. so i asked Him, "What are You trying to tell me Lord, what are You trying to tell the cell?"

He said, "Ann, those are MY children."

i wept.

God's heart is breaking over the lost in CCHS, hell fire was never intended for people. God sees them being taken away by the enemy and He is zealous over us, for we are HIS children, created to worship. God is longing so so much to fellowship with them. But He needs vessels, He wants to partner with us. i dont know about you but i think its pretty incredible that the God of the universe wants to partner with me in this. We have to be diligent in seeking Him, in praying for revival in CCHS, in shepherding those who come into His Kingdom and who are given to us.

i then saw a multitude of children running into God's presence, and He showed me the joy that was on His heart. i think similarly when we desire His presence when we pray, that is the joy He finds. the Bible says He rejoices over us. i think that's pretty incredible too.

i believe that what He has showed me is only just a small fraction of His burden for CCHS.

honestly my words are not going to be able to reveal God's heart well. i pray that God will show you His heart personally as only He can.

keep praying;

love graceann.

Sudden...

2008-05-25T20:33:00.000-07:00

revelation as I was using the laptop just now. I was happily logging on to gmail, after the discovery that I could use the internet at the new desk, and the computer suddenly began to hibernate. I was like...why? Did I spoil the laptop because of last week's shifting and it showing signs of crankiness? So I thought, cannot be. So I looked at the back of the laptop to confirm, and lo, the laptop was not hooked to the power supply as I thought it was.

And my sudden revelation? At that point, I just felt the Holy Spirit say this - we as Christians need to ALWAYS be connected to the power source. Sounds cliched? Like a laptop, many of us have 'spiritual batteries' that we charge up when we go for cell and church on the weekends, when we do plug in to the Power Source. But as soon as we hit the week, MONDAYS, we unplug ourselves from God, and somehow try to survive the rest of the five days on battery charged from the weekend.

No wonder we always feel dry when we come to God during cell or church services. The only way for us to keep having the power, not battery power, but real sustaining power and Holy Spirit power is to be connected to the Power and Energy Source throughout the week, throughout the day, throughout the hour, every minute and second, with every breath we breathe.

Face it, without Christ and the Holy Spirit in our daily lives, can we truly say we are leading the Christian life? If we say we can, then we are lying to ourselves and the people around us, because we are then living the Christian life our own way, through our strength. People will not truly see Christ living through us, but a shell and form of Christianity lived through our own strife.

The only way to be hooked up to the Power Source is through abiding in the God. We all can easily quote John 15, but can we live it? Do we live it?

The key is in 1 Thessalonians 5:17: Pray without ceasing. We must be in constant communion with God, in constant conversation with the Lover of our souls. Isn't that what God so desires? For His children, for His Bride to return to that place where He intended Adam to be, walking in the cool of the evening, just talking to Him and enjoying His presence.

Jesus payed so high a price not only for our sins to be washed and forgiven, but for the veil to be rent, so that we can approach God without any condemnation or ritualistic sacrifice. So why aren't we fulfiling our position as God's creation and entering into the Holiest of holies, like Moses did, staying and lingering in His presence, having such a fellowship with Him, sharing His burden, standing in the gap for others, such that we can be called friends of God?

It is no wonder why our faces don't shine with the glory of God. :))

PRAY THE PRICE

2008-05-24T10:22:00.000-07:00

every revival has a price.

WILL WE BE THE ONES TO PRAY IT THROUGH?

More and more...

2008-05-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

...the news of so many people getting/not getting replies from the unis I hear. Getting slightly edgy.

But somehow, somehow I know, especially after today's meeting with sister Nita, that God is in total control, that He holds my future in His hands, He is cares about my cares too. But yet when Jesus invades our lives, everything we once found important no longer seem important. It really struck me at that point. The fishermen-turned-disciples; they must have, at that precise point in time, found out how futile their jobs as fishermen was. At that very point in time, they figured something, had such a revelation that would change them for the rest of their lives and for the rest of eternity - that Jesus was the Messiah, and all their lives were given to Him and His cause-souls.

So the key question is this: Has Jesus truly invaded my life? Or rather, have I allowed Him to? Or has the cares of this world invaded and took the space where the Lord was to be seated as Lord?

Has Jesus become my occupation or has my occupation? PUN! :)

i.e. As a student: studying, scoring, cca-ing, promotion.

As an adult: working, earning money, family, promotion.

As one in limbo aka not studying not working: worrying about getting into uni, trying to earn some pocket money, occupying time with mini projects and assignments etc.

Just a little song that floated into my head when I was pondering over uni admissions. Learnt it from a musical when in primary school.

Trust in God, He never changes

He loves you like your earthly father cares

Trust in God, He never changes

He loves you and He knew you

Before your life began.

"My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!

If I shout count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You." - Psalm 139:13-16

As we allow God to invade our lives, let's begin to see like the disciples more than 2000 years back, that there is more to what we are busy in life with, which are very many things. Let's begin to see the truly important things- following Jesus and fishing man! Let's seek His face and begin seeing REVIVAL and HIS GLORY flood CHUNG CHENG HIGH.

The Father and Son.

2008-05-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

Check out this amazingly inspiring clip of a father and a son.

A son asked his father, "Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me? "
The father, who despite having a heart condition, said yes. They went on to complete the marathon together.
They joined other marathons as well, and the father never refused the son.
One day, the son asked the father, "Dad let's join the ironman together. "
To which, his father agreed to as well. For those who do not know,
the Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever.
The race encompasses 3 endurance events, a 2.4mile ocean swim, 112 mile bike ride, and a 26.2 mile marathon along the coast of the Big Island.
Father and son went on to complete the race together.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

http://www.teamhoyt.com/history.shtml

Some food for thought.

If the handicapped can make such a difference in the lives of others around him, how much more we who have normal bodily functions? How much more we who have Christ the hope of glory?

It really makes me wonder, who is the true handicapped?

I BELIEVE

2008-05-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

they need Him.

BACK TO THE ALTAR

2008-04-27T05:29:00.001-07:00

today's altar call was really something man. i think as a cell group we have really lost sight of the importance of prayer. i remember our last prayer meeting at cons house before cell group, we were crying out for the presence of God and in that meeting God met us right then and there, and all it took was for our hearts to be aligned to Him.

i remember a line i said in that prayer meeting: "if we are not seeking His presence then what are we doing?" i really haven't lived up to my words. but God is faithful to forgive amen. as a cell group lets work to rebuild the fountain gate in the cell.

PRAYER LEADS TO REVIVAL!

ok, so the bible project has run into some turbulence. as a cell, lets PRAY LIKE CRAZY!!

PRAY LIKE OUR ENTIRE LIFE DEPENDED ON IT(for in actual fact, it does). PRAY FOR GOD TO OPEN THE DOORS, for it is not going to be by our striving and intellect that the harvest will be brought in.

so please guys... LET ALL PRAY PRAY PRAY THIS WHOLE WEEK!!! and of course we don't just seize praying once the week is over. the Bible says to pray without seizing. (:

The Flu Bug

2008-04-23T01:33:00.001-07:00

Yo people. Guess what I'm doing now when you guys are DILIGENTLY, PASSIONATELY and DEDICATEDLY at school STUDYING and being enriched in your holistic education (aka CCA)? No prizes for guessing, since you'll know by the title.

Boo, I'm sick. Had high fever this morning after waking up to a whole night's tossing and turning and dreaming strange dreams (like Christine giving birth? talk about strange.). 39.6 and it went down later this morning to 38.6, like only one degree.

As such, my dearest family doctor gave me 3 days MC. Don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Anyway, I had some thoughts yest night whilst I was miserable in bed. I was just thinking what was the difference between the church and the world, I mean, comparatively, there are certain similarities, but what makes the church, the church, and the world, the world? The first thing that popped into my overheated brain was in the area of music. The world has its good music, leaving aside the hard rock metal plastic what have you and satanic stuff, and so does the church.

Basically its a celebration of talents. The world celebrates the individual's talents and gives all the glory to the one who is able to rise in the ranks of music charts. The individual or even a group of people even become "idols" as what some people may call and young girls, and even guys, drool and fantasize or even mark out their whole lifetime's aspirations just to be like him or them.

Of course all these might be exaggerations and slightly over the top, but in reality, and the truth of the matter is, that's how the world is. And the important question is, what makes the church different?

The glory goes to God. (well at least it should.)

The talents that we have, be it talent in the marketplace, being a wonderful entrepreneur(haven't used that word since my j1 econs test) or business man, or a upright politician, and the glory (or praise and esteem that we receive from the success) should all eventually go back to God. That's because we acknowledge that whatever talents and capabilities we have originally came from God and not ourselves.

Keeping this in mind, in all our successes, we must must must make sure that God receives all the glory for Himself and none to ourselves, that way, God is made great, and we are just vessels for His glory and name to be made known to the world.

Strange how my overheated brain could think so much.

EXCELLENCE

2008-04-11T11:28:00.000-07:00

hello four point five!

this is just something that the Lord has been speaking to me this week which i thought would be good for everyone. im sure you guys already have this incorporated into your genes or something but ya. just take this as a reminder i guess.

anw, something that really spoke to me ever since i saw the meticulously straight rows of trolleys at T3. if the world can even be excellent in what they do, what more us being God's peculiar people? i think the Lord really challenged me to give it my 110% in all i do, regardless if it is for Him or not. Let all we do be excellent in the eyes of those who we do unto. God Himself was first excellent. He gave us His best to die on the cross for us. Let us follow in that same spirit of excellence when we serve one another. (:

love you guys.

graceann

Testimony of Muslim Convert

2008-04-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Hey people, check this video out. It's a powerful testimony of a muslim convert. Watch and be impacted!

Sorry about the previous video. Realised that it was too long for youtube to host it. So mafan you all to click on the link instead.

http://www.muslimjourneytohope.com/testimonies/testimony_afshin.wmv

SALTY LAMPSTAND/TASTELESS BASKET

2008-03-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

GREAT MESSAGE TODAY ADORA!

a good reminder to all of us on what it means to be truly Christian.

decided to put something up here as a reminder for us.

OUR GOAL:

AVOID THIS:

ANN posted at ***** pm.

not cons... ANN!!! haha.

A Teenager's View Of Heaven

2008-03-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

A TEENAGER'S VIEW OF HEAVEN

17-year-old Brian Moore had only a short time to write something for a class. The subject was what Heaven was like. 'I wowed 'em,' he later told his father, Bruce. 'It's a killer. It's the bomb. It's the best thing I ever wrote..' It also was the last.

Brian Moore died May 27, 1997, the day after Memorial Day. He was driving home from a friend's house when his car went off Bulen-Pierce Road in Pickaway County and struck a utility pole. He emerged from the wreck unharmed but stepped on a downed power line and was electrocuted.

The Moores framed a copy of Brian's essay and hung it among the family portraits in the living room. 'I think God used him to make a point. I think we were meant to find it and make something out of it,' Mrs. Moore said of the essay. She and her husband want to share their son's vision of life after death. 'I'm happy for Brian. I know he's in heaven. I know I'll see him.'

Brian's Essay: The Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read 'Girls I have liked.' I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named 'Friends' was next to one marked 'Friends I have betrayed.' The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird 'Books I Have Read,' 'Lies I Have Told,' 'Comfort I have Given,' 'Jokes I Have Laughed at .' Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: 'Things I've yelled at my brothers.' Others I couldn't laugh at: 'Things I Have Done in My Anger', 'Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.' I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked 'TV Shows I have watched', I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked 'Lustful Thoughts,' I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!' In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it.. The title bore 'People I Have Shared the Gospel With.' The handle was brighter than those around it,seemed newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.

He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. 'No!' I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was 'No, no,' as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side.

He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, 'It is finished.' I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

Any thoughts, reflections? I'll post mine soon. But now, I gotta sleep(:

Agape love,

-Gerry.

THIS IS COOL! (:

2008-03-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

ok. this is not what i had in mind as a post.

i wanted to show you guys a website saying:

"top 10 ideas changing the world"

(its in this months time magazine by the way)

#10 is something about JESUS! (:

so i went back to check and read the article.

turns out its something about re-judaising Jesus.

doesnt look very good.

hence the change of plans in post.

watch this. is so cute.

CHILDLIKE INNOCENCE

AMEN!

2008-03-17T08:21:00.000-07:00

great post ann! i totally agree. agree. agree.
thanks for sharing and challenging us once more to offer our best days to God ;)
ive got exams exams this whole week. mug mug mug. and very little sleep for me.
AND ADORA IS WORK FREE NOW EH! no more TAX CALLS.
have a great week ahead 45pointers!

<3>

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE!!

2008-03-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

hello people.

i thought that before school started, i might as well share something here.

so anw. what happened was, i was talking on msn messenger with my friend(knew him before i came church) whom i haven't seen in like a year or so. so like naturally, there was quite abit of catching up to do. so we were just kind of talking about what where we were heading after o's, etc etc. and anw, towards the end of our conversation, he said:

"so ann...you got boyfriend?"

"no. i go to church now." (cause he didnt know that im now in cornerstone and stuff)

"huh? why go church cannot have bf?"

"oh, there's no rule that says you cant, but i just dont feel like its time for me to have one. i want to devote my time and energy to more important things(ie God)"

that was the last conversation we ever had.

what comes to mind when you see images as such?

lets be honest with ourselves. EVERYONE desires to be in a bgr. why? because that's just how God wired us up to be. God made us to be attracted to the opposite sex, God gave us sex drives, and in fact, i think God rejoices over us when we enter into a God-honoring relationship.

so maybe you could have thought along the line of my friend. what is so wrong about having a BGR now? and the truth is, there really is nothing wrong about it. but as christians, i really believe that there is more we stand to gain if we choose to go God's way. just imagine if i were to have a BGR now, i would have to invest substantial amounts of time, effort and energy in maintaining my relationship, and on top of that, i would still have school work, cca, etc. where does that leave God in my life? where does that leave serving in ministry or outreach? the truth is, the amounts of time and energy i put into that relationship could have been put to better use. like ministering unto the Lord and ministering unto His people. i've realised that every adult i've asked all said that their teenage years were the best years of their lives. since this is the best years of my life, i want to give it all unto the Lord. He deserves my best. i feel that if i were to have a relationship now, i believe it would be ruining God's perfect plan for my life. God could have had great spiritual growth in store for me if i would have just chose to lay down bgr at His feet.

Joshua Harris's book "I KISSED DATING GOODBYE" has really impacted me greatly and challenged my thinking. if you havent read the book yet, i encourage you to do so. the core message of the book is really about giving back to God the best of all that He's given to us. it doesnt mean that we become like monks and stay single forever. i believe that the message he's trying to drive home is not only that related to dating but also to christianity, that we should look unto God instead of looking at ourselves.

there is really alot more in the book for you to think about. i only brought up a very small point and i didnt even go into detail about it. AIYAH, JUST READ THE BOOK LA! (:

(book cover unavailable on the net. smth about copyrights.)

love,

graceANN.

THE GRILL. beside blue waters, fresh breeze. D'MANOR. ITS POSH AND SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE.

2008-03-13T12:03:00.000-07:00

4point5errrs!!

ITS 3:04 am and yes ann is still online. i assume she posted just before me.

as you can see, she speaks in science. ( the title ) i speak in "arts". SCIENCE STUDENT VS ARTS STUDENT. its actually intended ;P

like every normal person, its just right to be excited about your first post!! SO FEEL ME. DO U FEEL THE EXCITEMENT AND ENTHUSIASM I AM TRYIN TO EXPRESS? for once, i see true meaning in blogging. if u realised, ive stopped blogging for a rather long time. and finally this mountain tortoise is back. EH WAIT. im no mountain tortoise.

THE GRILL was just POSH name i decided for the BBQ. haha. but on a more serious note, im trusting that God will open the doors for us, for hearts to be good ground and for exciting things to happen even as we tuck into good food! i feel hungry already:) its great to hear so many new friends coming:) anyway, thank you, ann and team, for putting so much effort into the whole planning. lets use this opportunity to build relationships with the people yeah. FRUITFUL CONVERSATIONS IS THE KEY. you guys might not even read this before the bbq. but ill still say it anyhow. haa

my granny is undergoing an operation at around 8 am today. soo yesterday, i spent most of my day accompanying her in the hospital. she was so cute! the way she wanted to be on time for admission and she packed her bag really early like 1230 pm, waiting to be fetched, as if going to a 5 star hotel! ill tell u guys about it in person. haha. this kind of thing cannot type out. LOSES ITS EFFECT. please keep her in prayers yeah thanks!

im too tired to continue.. im falling asleeeeep.

Ga;sdnskjd8w93kjjjjjjjlllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. *oops i fell asleep on my keyboard*

i need sleep:) night

LOVE CONS

E=MC2 Formula; Eating=Moving Closer 2 Followups (:

2008-03-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

its like what, 230am, and im still ~~asleep~~ wide awake.

THIS IS THE DAY!!

THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE!

been thinking and praying about the bbq later. i really really REALLY have a great expectancy for God to move. it may not translate to signs and wonders at the bbq, but as in in the hearts of those who come. KEEP PRESSING IN IN PRAYER GUYS! i believe God is going to give us the victory.

2 Corinthians 2:14

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.

YES, God ALWAYS leads us in triumph in Christ.

your sister in Christ:

GRACEANN!

90 cents.

2008-03-13T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yes people, I have bought super cheap sausages for tomorrow's BBQ.

I'm so pleased with myself. =))

Go against your conscience, ignore the contents, stuff yourself with sausages tomorrow.

REGARDING COMMENTS(:

2008-03-12T06:36:00.000-07:00

ok. so this isnt exactly like an actual post, its more of an announcement of sorts.

BASICALLY, got feedback from some of you guys that you cant comment cause anonymous commenting was not allowed. anw, i've changed some settings so ya.

YOU CAN COMMENCE COMMENTING.

that is all.(:

end of message!

love, ANN

yoyoyo!

2008-03-11T09:57:00.000-07:00

hello. I originally typed a post prior to this. But Blogger chose to screw itself up.

Thank you so much Ann for spending so much time on this blog despite Blogger being so nasty with its configuration and all. Am I upset with Blogger? You ask me, AM I UPSET??

Anyways, think I'm too tired to type another lengthy post, although the previous one wasn't exactly what I would call lengthy.

Adora, next time alwaysalwaysalways remember to ctrl-A ctrl-C. Rememberrememberremember... *psychos self*

How's the March hols guys? (Simi si Holiday? boleh makan tat?) You priviledged lot, still having the chance to study. :(( I really miss studying. *siams all the bashing*

Anyways, I have news. I have tendered my resignation today(tues), although I was on leave (thank God for friends who don't take leave). And my last day at work will be next Mon 17th March. Xiexie, xiexie. Thank you thank you. I just so feel all your congratulations towards me right now. NO MORE NASTY TAXPAYERS!!!! Muahahahhahah! (You have no idea, trust me.)

In the meantime, I'm applying for U. If you know my grades, you'd keep me in prayer that God would lead me to the right uni and course He intends, 'cause right now, I don't think I can make it into the three local Us, but if God wills, there are other less prestigious options.

Jeremiah 29:11 - The Lord's thought's towards us are always of peace and not of evil, to give us a future and a hope.

I cling on to God's word in Romans 8:28 - all things will surely work out for good to those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. His ways are higher than ours and His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9).

It would be a lie to say that I am unaffected by what has happened, but may I be like Job who said yet will I praise Him. That through it all, I may gain treasures in darkness, to know and be known by Him.

Yup. I really do hope that this blog will begin to be just one of the ways in which we as a family of God begin to share and understand the situations we face in our daily lives be it joy or hardships. Erhem, no excuses for WORD QUOTAS *cough*, because your face is hidden behind the computer screen, save for those who have WEBCAMS which are CONNECTED.

Yay! Everywhere we go people want to know who we are, where we come from. So we tell them, we are from genFOUR5. Passionate and in love with God!

Adora. =)))

ANN'S BIG SURPRISE!

2008-03-06T06:12:00.000-08:00

HELLO YOU(:
YES, YOU WHO ARE READING THIS.

if by some miracle you are reading this entry before i announce my beautiful news to the cell, then perhaps you may be thinking:
"huh? 4point5 has a cell blog?"
or maybe if you are gerry, you thoughts would be more along the line of:
"mmmm... FINGER ARMPITS!!"
haha.(:

so, WHY HAVE A BLOG? i mean there are so many groups of people out there who create class blogs/cell blogs/blogs in general who after awhile decide to just let their blog 'rot' on cyberspace. well, WE SHALL BE DIFFERENT!!
there is no promise that this blog will not become stagnant. however, our goal(or rather mine at this point) is not to create the most happening blog, but to have a means to allow cell members to post entries that will inspire the cell.

ok, here's what i mean:
during anytime of the week, if you get an encouraging Word from the Lord, have a testimony to share, and so on, it would be good if you could post about it HERE! this is not saying that it is compulsory and that you cannot share your thoughts with the cell in person. but, like i said it would be good because cell members can get encouragement DURING THE WEEK. by recording down our testimonies, WE CAN TOUCH MANY LIVES!!

so i hope you guys will be blessed by this.
love you guys;
GRACEANN(: